how to build your dream life by having an internal locus of control

 

Do you feel like you are in control when it comes to achieving the success you’ve always wanted, or do you think success is only accessible to those born “lucky?” How much is in your control when it comes to building your dream life? Is it based on internal or external factors?

This is known as the Locus of Control. It is a psychological concept that refers to how strongly people believe they have control over the situations and experiences that affect their lives.

Internal locus of control is the more active approach to life. You believe that you have control over your future, that your actions determine the results you get, and that you are responsible for your life.

External locus of control is more passive. You believe that things in life happen by chance, and you can’t determine your future. You don’t even bother to try because you go with the flow and things just happen.

You can see that having an internal locus of control is more empowering than having an external locus of control. If you are wondering where you fall on the spectrum, use these questions as guidance.  

1. I rarely feel in control of my life
2. People don’t get what they deserve
3. Things happen by chance

If you answered yes to 2 or all 3, you have an external locus of control. If you said no and believe the opposite then you have an internal locus of control.

So, what does all this have to do with building your dream life? Well, if you have an internal locus of control, you are more likely to achieve your goals. You have more self-confidence and are more resilient. You are also self-aware enough to know that you are messing up and you need to change some things.

Now that we have all that covered, let's get to the tips on how you can transform your mindset and use it to build your dream life.

 Take responsibility

The first thing you need to do is to take responsibility for your life. Accept that you are responsible for your successes and failures. Embrace the mistake you make in life, see them as lessons and use them as stepping stones to improve.

Set clear goals

Sit down, take a pen and paper, and write down everything that you envision for your future life, write it all down to a tee.

Now that you have that, determine what goals you need to take to achieve that. These goals have to be specific, clear, measurable, and time-bound.

Let’s say you envision your dream self looks athletic. Your goal would then be to work out 5 times a week to lose x amount of weight and build muscle.

Develop a growth mindset

Transform your mindset and be able to embrace your challenges. See them as opportunities for growth and not reasons to give up because it’s too tough.

Build self-confidence

Once you have trust & confidence in yourself, the sky is not even the limit, you shoot straight past it.

The belief you have in your abilities to succeed, learn, and achieve your goals is everything.

You can build self-confidence by;

• Taking small actions to build a portfolio of proof
• Keeping the promises you make to yourself
• Celebrating your wins no matter how small

Focus on what you can control

Goes without saying but you need to concentrate your actions and decisions on what you can control. Don’t waste your energy on things outside your influence.

Stay positive and persistent

Act as if you cannot lose. When you face a setback, don’t give up, maintain a positive outlook.

It will not be easy, it will hurt sometimes, and the results will not come as fast as you want them.

Just keep pushing and remember why you started, do you really want to go back to that place?

Prioritize self-education

Prioritize self-education to develop the skills and knowledge you need to succeed.

We live in a world where we have so much information at our fingertips that you really have no excuse.

That thing you want to achieve, someone else has already done that. So why not take advantage of that and learn through their journey so that you can fast-track yours.

Surround yourself with like-minded people.

Join a group of people who are pursuing the same interests as you or at the very least have an internal locus of control. These are people who will encourage you and cheer you on your journey.

If you have no one like that in your life, go online and follow influencers that motivate you.

Practice self-discipline

 I am a strong believer that discipline can make or break your success. Be disciplined and consistent and develop habits that support your long-term goals.

Avoid distractions and stay committed to your goals.

Reflect and adjust

Make it a habit to reflect often (I highly recommend weekly) to see how you are making progress. Hold yourself accountable and call yourself out when you are not doing your best.

Be flexible and make adjustments when needed. Try different approaches towards your goals. Maybe going to the gym isn’t working, try tennis. There is more than one path towards your goals.

Final thoughts

Having an internal locus of control is one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself. You’ll be able to take charge and actively create the life that you dream of. It won’t be easy, but I promise you it’s worth it. 

 

Until next time

xo xo